Holiday Blues Avoidance Plan
Feeling lonely or isolated in this period of Thanksgiving?
Take these steps for a Blues Free celebration!
What is the most important element in your relationships with
others this Holiday Season? To be based on positive feelings of
belonging and love, right?
Here we are again, looking at a new holiday season.It provides
us with several opportunities to reevaluate where we are and who
loves us... and who doesn't. Perhaps this year the holidays are
helping you find ways to reconnect again, and bridge past
conflicts!
This season is the time of the year where families come closer
to celebrate, and also a period where we evaluate ourselves. Do
you find too much grief in your situation? Have you had a big
confrontation this year with a loved one? Perhaps you saw a good
relationship fizzle and disappear because there was love, but
also too much confrontation and you both never learned how to
manage conflict and differences without inflicting permanent
wounds?
If you carry on a baggage of past painful misunderstandings or
love/hate relationships, the end of the year is also a period
where you may feel stressed and depressed, and your heart filled
with sadness and regret. Worst, you can be feeling alone and
isolated from the people you love! Where is the acceptance and
recognition that you, as everybody else, crave?
It is possible to change those feelings, by taking some positive
actions to improve your present relationships. If you take
positive action now to truly understand what those conflicts are
about, you will be in a better position to take corrective
actions, and bring those you truly love closer to you.
Even if not everything can be fixed now, some gestures of good
will, done sincerely will give you peace of mind because you
will have made honest attempts to improve the situation. Damaged
relationships carry a lot of hurt and resentment and it may take
some time for things to settle down, if there is a sustained
effort at making things right again.
So put your plan A today in action, and have a better,
purposefully tailored holiday season. End of the year blues can
be avoided if you act now on purpose to improve your
relationships.
Plan A
Forget the past confrontation, family is family. Do a 'good will
gesture' as sending flowers or a food present to the house of
the person you miss more. Write a nice card, saying only
something like: 'appreciating your love, always'
Put time aside to be able to share and talk. Visit people and
ask simply for a little time to talk. You can also offer to only
focus on the positive aspects of the past history. Forget if you
were right or not; DO NOT mention negative aspects of the past.
Try to identify the positive aspects of the relationship, and
say that you are grateful for those aspects.
Do a little reconciliation: offer an apology for your share of
the problems; be grateful if the other side is willing to spend
time with you. You could be so brave as to ask for his/her
suggestions about improving the relationship in the future!
Whatever your feelings are, DO NOT give in to depression and
disappear: be present in any way you can: flowers, card, phone
call.
Plan B:
Not ready to face anyone yet? Organize your holidays: have a
clear idea of what you are going to do. If not sharing time with
family, find friends, or go volunteer in a church or charity
organization to help with holiday preparations. You will find
people there who will see and recognize you as a wonderful,
generous person. Take that recognition, because that is what you
need. Perhaps after the holidays, it helps you think a plan to
restore relationships with the people you love for next year!