Good Vibrations

Esoteric vibrational remedies are really hot right now, especally in Hollywood -- the next step beyond aromatherapy. I Natural Health magazine says that even Julia Roberts is spraying herself with a Petaltone product to "clear her aura." of ancient negative ties and resentments(Jason Patric and Kiefer Sutherland by any chance?) Even Julia Roberts knows that essences is one of the few ways she can protect herself from all of the transference, projection and other negative thought forms hurled at her etheric force field every day." If you still think this is a lot of nonsense, it is -- only try spelling it non -scents. Vibrational remedies, contain the plant essence but not its smell. All you're bound to smell like is grain alcohol or organic brandy. The idea is that the plant essence itself, either ingested or applied to the body, acts within the subtle body of the aura to correct or balance negative thought forms and energy. The idea was pioneered in the 1920s by Edward Bach, a trance channeller who went out in the wilderness and ate 38 different wild-flowers. He then noted which plant caused which miserable psychological state. True to the homeopathic principle of "like repels like", each flower than became a remedy for such complex states as "failing to learn from past experiences" and "for struggling on ceaselessly despite hardships and great odds, never giving up when overwhelmed." Eighty years later, Bach's original idea has exploded to include lines of esoteric remedies made from everything from tropical plants, famous roses, shells, ice, moonbeams, plants and gemstones. Being somewhat of a spiritual thrill seeker, who is always looking for ways to alter her consciousness without getting a hangover, my hobby lately is surfing the internet and looking for the most exotic esoteric remedies that I can find...(I know, I should get a life!) When I go shopping for essences, I look for something like Ancient Forest Flower Essences' Norwegian Fjord Waterfall -- a remedy made in the clear waters of a towering fjord waterfall -- and rumoured to fill one with empowerment. I want to "connect with my higher self" by sipping Healing Antartic Pack Ice which was made on Half Moon Island in the Antartic Penisinsula during an afternoon of rare sunshine. Why have a beer when you can have a glass of water with a couple of drops of Southern Ocean Seaspray in it --"made with Antartic waters during a stormy evening in the Great Southern Ocean at latitude 5905.8 which willl help me to "learn to let go" at the same time. As I was cruising through sites on the internet devoted to this fascinating subject, it occured me that one could make a vibrational essence out of just about anything. It's not like you need a degree to conduct these special vibrations. Anybody can do it. In fact, I was thinking of creating my own line of vibrational essences for the esoteric connoisour. How about "Sexual Realization" -- an essence made in the back seat of a 1972 Ford Chrysler under a full moon on Halloween while chewing pink bubblegum and losing one's virginity at a Drive In. Or "Patience of A Saint" -- an essence I personally channelled while standing in line at the Toronto Dominion Bank under flourescent lights while having to pee while trying to cash a cheque during a heat-wave day in Toronto in 1986 or "Complete Fulfillment" -- an essence I made well dancing completely nude in the rain around a huge bonfire during a thunderstorm while being made love to by two men and women and eating lasagna at the same time during the last harmonic convergence?" Years ago, I came up with the idea for an esoteric spray called "Babe Away" --- an aersol that would contain a concentration of energy that would repel unwanted attentions away. Sadly, once again, I was ahead of my time. Petaltone, a company out of Britain has made a product called Aura Blue, that does exactly that; it helps one with the process of "tie-cutting" obnoxious energies that may have hooked into your aura. Of course, what these companies are really selling is just water -- but it really holy water? Only the holes in my aura know for sure.