How to's for choosing the best man and matron of honor
The trick with having a wedding party is that eventually you're
going to have to choose someone to be the 'best' something.
Women have it slightly easier because they can opt to have a
Matron of Honor as well as a Maid of Honor, but even so, it's a
difficult decision to make.
Any tips?
Ladies first
Many women feel the pressure of having to choose their 'bestest'
friend for the honor of being Matron or Maid in their wedding.
They feel like they are leaving one of their friends out or
hurting their feelings. First of all, realize that the duty of
being in the wedding party is enormous. The Matron of Honor has
a lot to do before and during the wedding itself, so you will
want to choose someone that you think can handle it.
If you're the bride, you may feel that you have to choose a
family member as well, but that's not necessary. You might
include them as a part of the party, but if you have a really
close friend that you want to bestow the honor upon, then do so.
Find someone who isn't overly busy or committed. If they live in
the town that you'll be married in, that's great too. Even if
you're out of town, you'll get to be able to visit each other
and she can make arrangements while you're at your home. You
also want to find someone who isn't financially burdened. The
thing is that gowns, showers, bachelorette parties, and gifts
all cost money, so you don't want to stretch them.
And then the men
Just like choosing the Matron or Maid of Honor, you don't want
to choose someone that 'should' be the Best Man. This should be
someone that you can count on to plan the bachelor party and get
the other groomsmen to stay on schedule. Of course, your best
friend may fit this bill, so the decision might be easy. Again,
don't pick someone who doesn't have a lot of time or is
financially strapped.
Picking someone to be your right hand person is an important
decision and an honor for the person that you ask. Although you
may think that they are the right person, they may decline the
offer and the extra work. In that case, you will need to find
someone else to fill the role.