Marriage - Miscommunication... Root Cause of Problems?
People of two opposing ideas can stir up arguments and fights.
It's that situation when one thinks he has the right concept
while the other one also believes he has the proper notion. Both
of them would try to outsmart each other until one claims
victory.
Here's an actual example.
My spouse would sometimes buy me signature clothing. When my Mom
founds out how much it costs, she would advise us to budget our
money and just buy the affordable ones.
A problem occurs when my spouse thinks that her effort to give
me the best was unappreciated. Mom, on the other hand, would
think that my spouse is such a spender.
There's a conflict with their beliefs. No two people are exactly
alike. We are totally unique; not only physically, but mentally
and emotionally as well.
There will be many times when your opinion will not correspond
with that of another. So how can people prevent this kind of
conflict from occurring?
Communication is the key to overcome doubts and
misunderstandings.
You should let other people know what's in your mind. Don't keep
them guessing.
There was a story about two couples who were filing a divorce.
After the lawyer have spoken to them both, he found out that the
root cause of all their problems was due to miscommunication.
Here's one of the couple's problems.
The man filing the divorce said that he just hated the breakfast
meal that his wife often prepared for him. On the other hand,
the wife said that she's only preparing the meal because she
thought it was her husband's favorite. But she never liked
cooking it because it's very difficult to prepare.
See? If only one of them took the initiative to speak out what's
in his or her mind, then that particular dilemma would be over.
Now why would people prefer to keep their complaints and
criticisms to themselves? What's holding them back?
It's because they do not want to be rejected. Most, people, if
not all, would like to be accepted and to be perceived as
likeable in the eyes of others.
So can you get your message across without hurting their
feelings?
Substitute negative statements with positive ones.
Instead of saying "You don't understand," say "Let me explain."
Instead of remarking "You're wrong," say "Permit me to clarify."
Instead of stating "You failed to say," just mention "Perhaps
this was not stated."
There are certain words that affect a person more negatively in
comparison with other words that have the same meaning.
Nothing could be more pleasing to the ear than hearing someone
else say that you are right. In this case, be prepared to let
other people know that you respect their opinions. You may add
your comments at the end, but acknowledge them first.
Say:
You're right, although ... Great suggestion, however ... I agree
with your opinion, however ... I would feel the same way if I
were you, although ... I understand your situation, however ...
Reassure your counterparts that the decision made will benefit
both parties. People need to feel that they have made the right
choice.
Communication is a gift. Use it wisely for everyone's advantage.