Cheating Husband or Wife: 6 Keys to Know if You are Ready to
Handle What You Might Find When You Spy
When you spy on your suspected cheating spouse, please make sure
you consider all the possibilities you might encounter and
whether you can handle them.
Have you considered the many situations that spying might
uncover? Can you imagine the worst thing you might find? Predict
what your response will be to the worst-case scenario. Are you
ready? Here are some specific questions to ask:
1) Do I have friends I can count on for support if I discover
the worst? Do they know I might need them? Have I told them
exactly how they might help me? Do I have the capacity to stand
back from the deep emotions and not get mired or lost in
destructive thoughts and feelings?
2) How have I handled emotional pain in the past? What if it
gets almost unbearable? If I encounter the worst possible
emotional hurt and pain, do I have a therapist I can contact
immediately and see soon to help me through the rough spots?
3) You see the signs of a cheating spouse. What will be my
strategy for what I find? Do I have a strategy for the different
scenarios? Do I have a strategy to confront or not confront my
spouse? How, when and under what circumstances will I confront
him/her?
4) What kind of strategy will I have for self-care? What will I
need to do to keep myself functioning somewhat effectively?
5) Do I have a coach or an objective someone who knows about
cheating husbands and cheating wives and who can help me develop
strategies and goals for confrontation and self-care? Someone to
keep me focused and working on these strategies and goals?
6) Do I know what kind of affair I might face? Do I know the
prognosis for that kind of affair? Have I educated myself about
affairs and what I must do to effectively resolve and move
through this crisis?