Lessons About Marriage Learnt From Riding A Bike
"Marriage relationships are similar to learning to ride a
bicycle as a kid." Unwrapping The
Gift
Marriage is like a gift;the easiest part of marriage
relationships is opening it by saying, "I do." I once heard
someone say at a ceremony, "The wedding is now over, but the
marriage has just begun!" Now that you are in this new chapter
of your life, believe it or not, it has just begun.
Everytime I'd hop on that bike, I'd make it a few feet and fall
off. When I first got married, our relationship seemed this way
also. We'd set of on our journey, our differences would clash,
and trivial arguments would erupt. You probably know what I
mean. Ones like - "why didn't you put the toilet seat down?
Where is the cap for the toothpaste? I thought you said you'd
take out the trash? blah, blah, blah, blah, Are you listening to
me?"
As a kid, I really was serious about learning to ride that bike,
but a decision had to be made. Was I strong enough to not give
up until I could ride?, or was I gonna take the easy way out and
say "riding bikes isn't for me!". You've got to make these same
decisions after you've said "I do". Will you keep going and work
through your differences? Or will you say "let's get a
divorce!".
Know that all marriage relationships have good and bad days.
Great marriages relationships just work at producing more good
days than bad ones.
"But Paul Doesn't Fall
Off..."
We often look at other marriage relationships and measure our
progress or lack of it based on what other people have or don't
have. What's misleading about this is that we base our
judgements from what we see on the outside, rather than
knowledge from inside their lives. Sadly, we walk away and try
to pattern our lives after what we've seen but, not understood.
I'll be the first to tell you, watching what Tom and Betsie do,
and trying to act out this same thing between you and your mate,
will only increase problems in your marriage relationship. Why?
simply because you are trying to measure your marriage by
someone else's standard. You have a totally different man/women
in your life, create your own standards by learning what you
both want in your marriage, then work by those standards. If you
don't do this, get ready for a long, troublesome, frustrating
journey.
Pedaling &
Balance
In riding a bike, you need to learn balance to stay upright, and
you need to pedal to move foward in the direction you wish to
go. When these two work together, the result is a great
breathtaking ride.
In marriage relationships, you also need forward, positive
momentum, and balance. The wonderful things you do that pleases
each other, builds passion and increases attraction (momentum),
while learning more about each other and creating an environment
for each of you to personally grow, gives balance.
Since there are also many things that decreases passion (slows
momentum/love busters) and creates imbalance, both of you must
constantly work at pedaling and balancing to build a great
marriage (great ride).
Using Training
Wheels
Using those training wheels gave me an opportunity to learn how
to balance and pedal at the same time. After I'd gotten more
comfortable coordinating the two, my dad took the training
wheels off and helped me to move without them.
As married couples, because this is often new to us, creating
balance and building