Dealing With Loss... Teaching Your Children About Life And Death
At some point or another you and your children will be faced
with death.
It's important that you teach your children that death is merely
an aspect of life, and help them become comfortable with the
topic.
One of the best things you can do to prepare your children for
the prospect of a death is to talk about it with them ahead of
time.
Your approach to the subject may vary a little depending on your
spiritual beliefs. Some cultures actually embrace the subject of
death and see it as an opportunity for re-birth and new life.
It is important that you consider your spiritual and emotional
beliefs about death and come to fully embrace them before
approaching the topic with your children.
This will help you facilitate a more impacting and clear cut
conversation when the time arises to talk about death and dying.
Here are some suggestions for broaching the topic with your
children:
Talk With Your Children About the Cycle of Life - Consider
discussing death with them at a time that you can naturally
incorporate it into part of your conversation. Consider for
example when the leaves change colors in the fall, and then die
off only to grow back in the spring. Remember to keep things
light and easy initially, offering your children ample
opportunities to ask questions.
Acknowledge Your Own Feelings - In order for your children to
accept death you must first come to terms with it. Children are
very sensitive and likely to pick up on your emotional cues
about death and dying, thus if you are uncomfortable with the
subject they are likely to be too. Take some time to examine
your own feelings and become comfortable with the subject before
broaching it with your children.
Be Open and Honest About Feelings - Many parents have a natural
instinct to shield their children from the grief associated with
death, but this can actually be damaging. It is important that
you allow your children to understand that death can be sad, and
let them know that you are sad if it happens. It is important
that children learn to express themselves openly and honesty and
learn how to release their emotions when necessary.
Remember when teaching children about death and dying that their
initial reactions may be very different from what you would
expect.
Rather than focusing on the spiritual or emotional aspects of
death they may want to know more about the technicalities, such
as how someone is buried and where they go.
Remember that this is perfectly normal. Address each question
honestly and age appropriately when they surface, and your
children will come to have a healthy understanding of the death
and dying process.