GREAT COMMUNICATION AND COUPLES SWAPPING
When it comes to couples swapping, knowing how to communicate
with your partner and the other couple is imperative. You should
already be starting out with open lines of communication, but
here are some tips to guide you along the way as well.
Naming The Place
When you need to talk about something serious, you don't go to a
ball game or to the movies, do you? It really is all about
location.
If you and your partner need to discuss something, then you will
want to find somewhere that is quiet and private. The fewer
distractions the better. Of course, restaurants are a nice way
to give your selves a distraction in case the talk becomes
difficult, but you will have to factor in the presence of the
wait staff.
If you decide to talk at a restaurant, then I would recommend
letting the waitress or waiter know that you have some important
things to discuss and that you would like to be disturbed as
little as possible.
They will understand and go to great measures to accommodate
you--but only if you ask.
The quieter the setting, the less distracted you will be, so
find a nice secluded corner. And then begin to talk.
If you wish to talk somewhere else, I would recommend a neutral
setting. Perhaps there is a park nearby where you could take a
walk.
These suggestions work great for all relationships as well as
with the other couples and well.
The Importance Of Time
Finding a time where you will not feel rushed is also important
to having a good couples swapping conversation. You don't want
to have anywhere to go when you need to talk.
Sometimes it might take some time to broach a difficult subject,
so you need to feel free to wait until you are ready to say what
you want.
You will also want to set up any childcare conditions to support
the large timeframe. Be sure to let the sitter know that you
aren't sure when you will be back, but will call when you know
when you will be leaving.
Give Everyone A Turn
There's an old book that talked about handing a shell to
everyone when they wished to speak. Although you don't need to
use a shell, you want to make sure that everyone has a chance to
talk without being interrupted.
You can do this by starting off with one person. This person
will talk until they feel that they are finished and then
another person will talk. This continues until everyone had said
what is on their mind.
At this point, you can begin to react to things that other
people said in a gentle way. Accusations or harsh words will not
help in a difficult situation.
Listen Up
Making sure that you understand the person who is speaking is
the key to creating useful dialogue. Repeat what they have said
if you're not sure about something. Perhaps they can clarify
their meaning.
Actively listen before you figure out what you are going to say.